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Danotheboy1 Champion Author California Posts:3,307 Points:78,440 Joined:Oct 2006	Message Posted: Jul 22, 2009 11:30:59 PM Ignore Danotheboy1 Report Abuse There are a few good reasons to start over. -Your spouse passes away. As mine did. (Not your fault or anybody's sometimes it just happens) -You are in a abusive relationship. (Somewhat your fault you piked Him/her you should have been more careful) -Your spouse develops a relationship destructive tendency that was not there when you married. (Alcoholism or drug abuse that was not preexisting, this is not your fault you can not control other peoples agency) -And there are others reasons. I was counseled by my grief counselor that I should wait at least for a year or two before starting over because I would be open to being taken advantage of if I jumped into something to quickly, but how long do you take? What is a good christen reason to start over and how long do you stay alone before starting over? [Edited by: Danotheboy1 at 7/22/2009 11:32:33 PM EST]

Danotheboy1

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Message Posted: Jul 22, 2009 11:30:59 PM

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There are a few good reasons to start over.

-Your spouse passes away. As mine did. (Not your fault or anybody's sometimes it just happens)

-You are in a abusive relationship. (Somewhat your fault you piked Him/her you should have been more careful)

-Your spouse develops a relationship destructive tendency that was not there when you married. (Alcoholism or drug abuse that was not preexisting, this is not your fault you can not control other peoples agency)

-And there are others reasons.

I was counseled by my grief counselor that I should wait at least for a year or two before starting over because I would be open to being taken advantage of if I jumped into something to quickly, but how long do you take?

What is a good christen reason to start over and how long do you stay alone before starting over?

[Edited by: Danotheboy1 at 7/22/2009 11:32:33 PM EST]

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CheeseMan Champion Author Raleigh Posts:10,740 Points:1,775,000 Joined:Mar 2005	Message Posted: Aug 11, 2009 2:01:15 AM Ignore CheeseMan Report Abuse Why don't you pray about it and ask God? If you quietly listen you will hear his answer. There is nothing "set in stone" about starting over.
irthekid Champion Author Twin Cities Posts:8,226 Points:1,816,495 Joined:Jun 2005	Message Posted: Aug 2, 2009 4:49:12 AM Ignore irthekid Report Abuse Sneakers Not making light of your situation//BUT I hear the IRS is always looking for phlebotomists.
Sneakers55 Champion Author Houston Posts:51,279 Points:2,141,975 Joined:Nov 2005	Message Posted: Aug 2, 2009 12:45:22 AM Ignore Sneakers55 Report Abuse /* // [Edited by: Sneakers55 at 8/2/2009 12:46:34 AM EST]
Sneakers55 Champion Author Houston Posts:51,279 Points:2,141,975 Joined:Nov 2005	Message Posted: Aug 2, 2009 12:41:32 AM Ignore Sneakers55 Report Abuse Working 32 years for the same company (doing a number of things) and getting hit with a RIF that came your way. They gave me 64 (calendar, not manufacturing) days notice to wrap up what I'm working on... we're down to 48 calendar days. I get 26 weeks (182 days) of severance pay if I don't jump first. By my count, I can go another 43 days and then go into early retirement and I can get funds from my well-stuffed 401(k). I sometimes make jokes about phlebotomy schools that if you're an organization that does phlebotomy as part of their routine working you're always looking for good phlebotomists.
SilverScort Champion Author Miami Posts:3,802 Points:482,365 Joined:Mar 2008	Message Posted: Jul 27, 2009 8:01:52 AM Ignore SilverScort Report Abuse I am appalled over the statement that someone "piked" an abusive partner, therefore it is their fault. No one enters a relationship with the expectation of being physically or emotionally abused. And abuse is NEVER ok!!! It is ok to start over when you feel in your heart that you are ready to open yourself to giving and receiving love. Never base that decision on the comments and criticisms of others.
Wrench9765 Champion Author New Jersey Posts:15,442 Points:1,525,990 Joined:Jun 2006	Message Posted: Jul 23, 2009 10:19:35 PM Ignore Wrench9765 Report Abuse Beautiful children. Wish I was their grandmom. I'm 72 & don't have any grandchildren. Mrs Wrench
Danotheboy1 Champion Author California Posts:3,307 Points:78,440 Joined:Oct 2006	Message Posted: Jul 23, 2009 9:33:51 PM Ignore Danotheboy1 Report Abuse What does starting over mean? Getting into another relationship after you have been in a committed relationship. married, common law, long term partner ect...
Danotheboy1 Champion Author California Posts:3,307 Points:78,440 Joined:Oct 2006	Message Posted: Jul 23, 2009 9:32:09 PM Ignore Danotheboy1 Report Abuse Always let them know how much their mother loved them & don't let them forget the person she was. My babies will know that there mother loved them unconditionally and she wanted more than anything to be able to help me raise them. What happened was nobody's fault and I will not let my girls feel as if there mother did not or dose not love them both with all of her hart and soul. And I will spend the next 17 years of so alone rather than take a woman into my life and home that could not love my babies with that same love. It would be hard not to love them however as they are just so cute! :>D
Wrench9765 Champion Author New Jersey Posts:15,442 Points:1,525,990 Joined:Jun 2006	Message Posted: Jul 23, 2009 1:13:12 PM Ignore Wrench9765 Report Abuse Start over when you feel it in your heart, God will let you know that not some counselor but make sure who ever it is will love your children as much as you do & your wife would have. If you should remarry someday that person most except your children. Always let them know how much their mother loved them & don't let them forget the person she was. I know several men that married shortly after the wife died & yes people thought that was awful but like CarSUV said they had been grieving long before they passed.
erbyfub Champion Author Raleigh Posts:8,738 Points:1,677,235 Joined:Jul 2008	Message Posted: Jul 23, 2009 9:39:28 AM Ignore erbyfub Report Abuse What does starting over mean?
CarSUVowner Champion Author Memphis Posts:18,538 Points:1,248,530 Joined:Aug 2005	Message Posted: Jul 22, 2009 11:41:51 PM Ignore CarSUVowner Report Abuse You also posted:"What is a good christen reason to start over and how long do you stay alone before starting over?" I would say that it is up to you whenever you feel it is right. I know a woman that died of cancer that I attended cancer camp with. Her husband remarried shortly after she died, within months. Her good friend thought it was sooooo terrible for him to remarry so soon. He had been grieving the loss of her long before she left this earth. She had terminal cancer and it was just a matter of time before she died. No one should have to live alone and be lonely for the rest of their lives. Everyone deserves to have someone to love and someone to love them back. BTW I am sorry for your loss and hope that you continue to heal from it.
CarSUVowner Champion Author Memphis Posts:18,538 Points:1,248,530 Joined:Aug 2005	Message Posted: Jul 22, 2009 11:38:48 PM Ignore CarSUVowner Report Abuse You stated:"-You are in a abusive relationship. (Somewhat your fault you piked Him/her you should have been more careful)" I would strongly have to disagree with you. Reason being is that it almost is NEVER the fault of the abused in an abusive relationship. Looks can be very decieving. A man can appear to be the most caring individual, and then turn on a woman when they marry. The same can be said for a woman being a very caring individual and then turning on her husband after they get married. You might want to re-think that statement over again. I certainly would. I know of people right here in these Christianity forums that have been married 2 or more times because their spouses were very abusive to them. [Edited by: CarSUVowner at 7/22/2009 11:39:12 PM EST]